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Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 14:05:00 -0000

OK first of all, LOL on the above post about sexual gratification!!!! And second, has anyone ever seen what a natural banana looks like? you know, before we bred the seeds out. it wasn't long, it had seeds and it was friggin brown.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 22:05:00 -0000

i doubt these guys are trying to convert someone through a banana, you cant prove God, you have to experience Him i guess... just not through a high dosage of potassium. i see the point theyre making and i dont think they were trying to offend anyone through a banana.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Sat, 14 Oct 2006 09:26:00 -0000

I suppose the pineapple is the Christian Nightmare. Imagine trying to eat a pineapple without a knife.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 01:41:00 -0000

The Banana: The Christian's Nightmare

We all know that sex is as pleasurable as it is functional. Our species wants to live on, and procreation (through the act of sex) accomplishes that goal. But as we also all know, sex feels good--and we do it more often for pleasure than for procreation. And while it takes two to tango, it only takes one to feel good sexually. Of course, it's not nearly as fun going solo, but it certainly does do the trick.

Modern technology and advances in the manufacture of synthetics and small battery operated vibrating devices have given women in need of "something special" all sorts of wonderful sex toys to do the job when no man is available. Ask any woman over the age of 30 (who isn't shy or a prude) and you'll hear a testament to the merits of dildos and vibrators.

But the technology that has given women these toys of pleasure has not always existed. What did women do before the advent of these modern sexual conveniences? What did Eve, Ruth, Ester, and all their biblical sisters do back then?

God gave women sex organs through which sexual pleasure may be derived. If we were designed, as Christians argue, then god certainly wanted women to have pleasure because he gave them all the parts that provide it. And as god is all-knowing, he certainly knew long before each one of us were even born, that there would often be times throughout our lives where those strong sexual urges would drive us mad because we had no available partner to take care of business.

So being the all-knowing, all-powerful, kind, and loving god that our designer and creator is, he gave women the banana. And anyone with only an ounce of common sense and even the most clouded power of perception can see the brilliance of god's perfect design of this particular fruit.

The banana...

1. is perfectly shaped to fit the human hand.
2. has a point at its top for ease of entry.
3. is curved towards the vagina to make the penetration process easy.
4. has a tab at the bottom to hold and control the motion of the banana when completely inserted.
5. just like the human penis, it is perfectly shaped for the human vagina.
6. if held so that its curve is pointed upward after insertion, it hits the G-Spot perfectly!
7. has a soft wrapper so that the delicate lining of the vagina isn't scraped.
8. has a non-slip surface so that you won't lose control of the device while enjoying the ride. (Women, how much do you like it when your man's penis keeps slipping out?)
9. has outward indicators of inward content. Green bananas are the hardest, which women seem to prefer, and are required to attain the best penetration. Yellow lets you know that it's getting softer and may not be useful for much longer. Black lets you know that it's a far too late to be put in your vagina. (How many women want a limp, mushy penis anyway?) Keep in mind that these color codes also indicate if the banana is suitable for eating. Just like a vigorous weight training workout, overuse of the banana for sexual gratification will deplete the body of energy, as well as cause muscle cramps. Ever get a leg (or other body part) cramp during or after sex? You sweat, lose body fluids, and get dehydrated. Ask anyone with knowledge of human physiology and nutrition and you'll learn quickly that the banana is the perfect recovery food!
10. has a protective covering to prevent vaginal matter (or fecal matter, in the case of god's homosexual children) from spoiling the fruit inside.
11. has a tab at the bottom to facilitate removal of its wrapper.
12. is perforated on its wrapper for easy peeling.
13. has a bio-degradable wrapper for post-coital disposal.
14. is pleasing to taste buds as well as the vagina.
15. has a high potassium content, which quickly alleviates muscle cramps.
16. has a high caloric and carbohydrate content to refuel the body after sexual exertion.

To say that the banana's perfect design for sexual gratification just happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

:) From: http://www.atheisteye.com/t...

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 01:40:00 -0000

http://www.atheisteye.com/t...

The Banana: The Christian's Nightmare

We all know that sex is as pleasurable as it is functional. Our species wants to live on, and procreation (through the act of sex) accomplishes that goal. But as we also all know, sex feels good--and we do it more often for pleasure than for procreation. And while it takes two to tango, it only takes one to feel good sexually. Of course, it's not nearly as fun going solo, but it certainly does do the trick.

Modern technology and advances in the manufacture of synthetics and small battery operated vibrating devices have given women in need of "something special" all sorts of wonderful sex toys to do the job when no man is available. Ask any woman over the age of 30 (who isn't shy or a prude) and you'll hear a testament to the merits of dildos and vibrators.

But the technology that has given women these toys of pleasure has not always existed. What did women do before the advent of these modern sexual conveniences? What did Eve, Ruth, Ester, and all their biblical sisters do back then?

God gave women sex organs through which sexual pleasure may be derived. If we were designed, as Christians argue, then god certainly wanted women to have pleasure because he gave them all the parts that provide it. And as god is all-knowing, he certainly knew long before each one of us were even born, that there would often be times throughout our lives where those strong sexual urges would drive us mad because we had no available partner to take care of business.

So being the all-knowing, all-powerful, kind, and loving god that our designer and creator is, he gave women the banana. And anyone with only an ounce of common sense and even the most clouded power of perception can see the brilliance of god's perfect design of this particular fruit.

The banana...

1. is perfectly shaped to fit the human hand.
2. has a point at its top for ease of entry.
3. is curved towards the vagina to make the penetration process easy.
4. has a tab at the bottom to hold and control the motion of the banana when completely inserted.
5. just like the human penis, it is perfectly shaped for the human vagina.
6. if held so that its curve is pointed upward after insertion, it hits the G-Spot perfectly!
7. has a soft wrapper so that the delicate lining of the vagina isn't scraped.
8. has a non-slip surface so that you won't lose control of the device while enjoying the ride. (Women, how much do you like it when your man's penis keeps slipping out?)
9. has outward indicators of inward content. Green bananas are the hardest, which women seem to prefer, and are required to attain the best penetration. Yellow lets you know that it's getting softer and may not be useful for much longer. Black lets you know that it's a far too late to be put in your vagina. (How many women want a limp, mushy penis anyway?) Keep in mind that these color codes also indicate if the banana is suitable for eating. Just like a vigorous weight training workout, overuse of the banana for sexual gratification will deplete the body of energy, as well as cause muscle cramps. Ever get a leg (or other body part) cramp during or after sex? You sweat, lose body fluids, and get dehydrated. Ask anyone with knowledge of human physiology and nutrition and you'll learn quickly that the banana is the perfect recovery food!
10. has a protective covering to prevent vaginal matter (or fecal matter, in the case of god's homosexual children) from spoiling the fruit inside.
11. has a tab at the bottom to facilitate removal of its wrapper.
12. is perforated on its wrapper for easy peeling.
13. has a bio-degradable wrapper for post-coital disposal.
14. is pleasing to taste buds as well as the vagina.
15. has a high potassium content, which quickly alleviates muscle cramps.
16. has a high caloric and carbohydrate content to refuel the body after sexual exertion.

To say that the banana's perfect design for sexual gratification just happened by accident is even more unintelligent than to say that no one designed the Coca Cola can.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

cra — Tue, 08 Aug 2006 21:38:00 -0000

that really was an atheist nightmare!

http://video.google.com/vid...

it was really nightmarish to discover these guys weren't joking!
it's a dead serious creationist television show.
this isn't about deism vs. atheism anymore. this is about a great part of the american society in this modern world without any relationship to what they ironically claim to worship:
the universe aside modern men, nature and its history and complexity.
it just struck me because their "proof of god" proofs only that most americans know very little of the world apart the products they consume:
they compare a banana with a coke can and because the can has a builder (yeah pepsi) and the banana doesn't it obviously is the work of a great deity.
this is sad and totally ignoring the fact that even a normal pepsi can marks the end of thousands of years of technical evolution - which is in terms of seeming "incomprehensibility" comparable to nature's evolution that brought us the banana.
even the banana is the result of a looong time of human breeding - you prolly wouldn't recognize a normal, original banana.
you guys should really teach your children history, show them nature, feed their curiosity! then you might get rid of this horrendous crowd.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 22:37:00 -0000

Up until I watched this video I believed in evolution, but the Christians have finally changed my mind.

If indeed natural selection was true, these 2 clowns would have never existed on this earth.

Damn, there goes my faith in not having faith!!!

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

mizlee@aol.comupamxs — Wed, 17 May 2006 15:20:00 -0000

Hmmm, a "ripe banana" is about 6 to 9 inches long. It is firm and smooth to the touch, and fits ever so nicely into the mouth, and if you like bananas, doesn't taste bad at all. It also happens to be "anatomically correct" for multi-media applications.
LOL. This has to be one of the most fatuous fundie funnies ever!

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

John Blatt — Fri, 12 May 2006 15:44:00 -0000

Maybe these two can answer this:

If God allowed Adam and Eve to eat only "seed bearing fruit", then the "forbidden fruit" had to have been a fruit that produced no seed in itself. This fruit most likely would have been the banana, since the banana does not bear seed in itself. Thus, the very fruit that these mind-controlled cultists use to prove God's existence is (according to their bible) the very thing that supposedly damned them in the first place!

John Blatt

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Tue, 09 May 2006 20:20:00 -0000

I've seen the light !

IT IS REAL,
its a narative based reality that means you can Choose your faith and your beliefs.

If you WANT to BELIEVE then you WILL.

Believing is the choice of man, I want to believe but when I read all the packets they all seem to have the same ingredients!

Our culture and leaders Bring us the TRUTH and we ACCEPT it because WE WANT TO BELIEVE and it's just too hard not to.

That's why TV works "it's all true"

the worlds is complex out perceptions are complex

Religion is SIMPLE

Just like a Bannana!

Now go make your own Narrative based Reality,

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Tue, 09 May 2006 18:06:00 -0000

I just emailed Mr. Cameron and asked him to explain said video. Wonder if I'll get a response. Here's what I weote:

Dear Kirk,

As an Atheist, I would like you to explain the following:

"Never again do you need to be intimidated by an atheist. Learn how to prove God's existence and effectively witness to these so-called 'intellectuals'."

Please tell me why you feel it necessary to both insult ("so-called 'intellectuals") and witness to me? What troubles you so much that you had to make a video of said subject? Do you find Atheist's to be immoral, evil? Do intellectuals frighten you? Do you even know the meaning of Atheism? I'm curious.

Kindest regards,

Sean

Kirk Cameron
http://kirkcameron.com/

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

David S. — Sun, 07 May 2006 16:08:00 -0000

The Atheist's Nightmare?
Banana Phone By: Raffi

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/...

Ding-a-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling-ling!

Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
I've got this feeling, so appealing,
for us to get together and sing. Sing!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding donana phone
It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches,
It's the best! Beats the rest!
Cellular, Modular, Interactivodular!

Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring banana phone
Boop-boo-ba-doo-ba-doop!
Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping panana phone
It's no baloney, it ain't a p(h)ony
My cellular bananular phone!

Don't need quarters, don't need dimes,
to call a friend of mine!
Don't need computer or TV,
to have a real good time!
I'll call for pizza. I'll call my cat.
I'll call the white house, have a chat!
I'll place a call around the world, operator get me Beijing
-jing-jing-jing!

Now tell me how an atheist can argue against the complexity of the banana phone it just can't be done. (Sarcasm)

haha

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Fri, 05 May 2006 22:07:00 -0000

Oops- that was me, not "Anonymous," who answered.

Wake up, Jeff!

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Fri, 05 May 2006 22:05:00 -0000

Hey tigg13--

Exactly. Amazing how it was the tree of knowledge of good and evil in that myth! God hates intelligence!

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

tigg13 — Fri, 05 May 2006 01:48:00 -0000

jeffxl said, "Why are all apologists so profoundly stupid?"

Take a closer look at the story of Adam and Eve. Original sin was the act of thinking for one's self.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

freedy — Fri, 05 May 2006 00:12:00 -0000

Has anyone seen "Manafest,with Perry Stone"?....He's selling a dvd on the gigantic caverns/chambers down deep in the earth.These are holding places for the wicked and fallen angels.He claims to have proof of this & also where the lake of fire will be,...."Under the Dead Sea",..where he claims the portals of hell to be located
I find him interesting for I see bi-polar all over this guy.

**** check out Doyle Davidson ,man this guy is losing it bad,....he was preaching under the influence two days ago,..falling off the stage,and totally incoherant.It was freakin funny as hell!

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

JeffXL — Thu, 04 May 2006 23:43:00 -0000

Bananas didn't reach the western hemisphere until 1502. God forget to bring this mighty powerful, uh, proof to the New World?

From Wikipedia:

"In 1502, Portuguese colonists started the first banana plantations in the Caribbean and in Central America. As late as the Victorian Era, bananas were not widely known in Europe, although they were available via merchant trade."

Also, concerning the "indicators of inward content," the Brazilians I know eat 'em when they're very black.

Why are all apologists so profoundly stupid?

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Bruce — Thu, 04 May 2006 19:37:00 -0000

These guys are idiots. Edible bananas are human bred fruits. Natural bananas do not look anything like the ones we eat and contain a fair amount of stuff that is poison to humans. So in reality, these idiots demonstrate that like a banana bought in a grocery store, god was alos created by man to serve a particular need.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Scott — Thu, 04 May 2006 18:39:00 -0000

That is quite a stretch. I could create an equally ridiculous argument stating that man's hand evolved to fit the banana and it would carry just as much water...

Just another couple of idiot Christians trying to make a buck in the name of God...quacks.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Wayne O — Thu, 04 May 2006 16:18:00 -0000

For me it was all made clear on TV in the '60s:

La la la, lala la la
La la la lala lala la

One banana, two banana,
Three banana, four...
Four bananas make a bunch
And so do many more;
Over hill and highway
The Banana Buggies go,
On their way to bring you
The Banana Splits Show!

La la la, lala la la
La la la lala lala la...

And that's proof enough to make a believer out of me.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Anonymous — Thu, 04 May 2006 15:57:00 -0000

Christians need constant reminders about how "correct" they are in their world view... because without the reminders, they might actually get a chance to step back and see their religion for what it really is... brainwashing.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Todd — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:57:00 -0000

You have got to be kidding me.

If people are buying that DVD then Kirk Cameron is goddamn genius.

Are you serious?

Monkeys eat bannanas too you dolts!

Grant it I'm not an athiest, but this video is ridiculously stupid.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Andy — Thu, 04 May 2006 04:56:00 -0000

My response to Kirk and his delusional sidekick, Ray Comfort:

http://www.godlessbastard.c...

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Matt — Thu, 04 May 2006 04:28:00 -0000

And you can tell that god has a sense of humor because slipping on banana peels is fucking hilarious!

And be sure to make that 'o' shape with your mouth when you shove a banana in there. It makes god feel all tingly.

Re: The Atheist's Nightmare? - ExChristian.Net - Articles

Mary — Wed, 03 May 2006 22:10:00 -0000

That was the most asinine video I've ever seen, I was wondering if they were playing that double entendre on purpose or what? What a freaking joke.